Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
