put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
