he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
