I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
COCAINE IS GR8
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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