do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
