Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we made out on top of his cat.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
