i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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