We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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