Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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