Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
