We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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