Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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