Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
