similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
