i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
