Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
