So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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