I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
