Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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