Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
