when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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