the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
