I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You made out with two different species that night
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
