he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
