So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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