He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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