And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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