am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We need to rekindle our bromance
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
