My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
