my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
