It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
