dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
