i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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