You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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