Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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