My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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