Define "chronic" masturbator.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This baby is an asshole
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
