Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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