Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
