Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
