ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
