my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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