I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
