Tell her she can't have a vagina
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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