i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize