doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
