Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
