she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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