Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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