I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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