I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
