she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
